The Power of Self-Love: From Insecurity to Confidence and Inner Beauty

 The Power of Self-Love: From Insecurity to Confidence and Inner Beauty

I never considered myself to be beautiful when I was a teenager. I was the slim and dark girl whom everyone was talking about, but not kindly. At school, my classmates would make fun of me and make comparisons with my brother who was described as handsome and I was described as the opposite. Others even told me that I did not resemble the members of my own family. I could not say so but those words hurt. I would gaze at my mirror and ask myself, Why is it that I am not beautiful just like other girls? I even recall how I used to pray at night to God to turn me into beautiful - to give me fair skin, more round body and face that would be finally spared the fun of being mocked. When I was that young I believed that beauty was it all. It seemed to me that as soon as I managed to look a particular way, I would finally consider myself loved, accepted, and confident. But life was going to teach me something more.

My Body Changed, So Did The Opinions of People.

As I got into college, everything became different, at least in a physical sense. I became heavier and my skin complexion changed to be lighter. Then, all of a sudden, the one who had been teasing me, would start saying, You changed so much, you changed so much, you are fat, but beautiful now. I was confused. What was even more absurd was the fact that I was ugly one day and the next day I became beautiful because my body and my skin color had gotten different. Why did beauty always come in a condition? You are pretty, but... That but happened to make me understand one important thing in society: beauty is usually perceived through the prism of color, size, and comparison. When I was slim, I was noted as ugly. When I became fat, I was referred to as fat but fair. I was stuck in a loop where I could never be satisfied with any version of me. However, I appeared, and I was always criticized. I was compared, commented and categorized by people. And I began to know-- that it was never me. It was a superficial definition of beauty in the world.

The Breaking Point: When I Didn’t Want to Fit In Any More.

I long struggled to become like other people. I would switch my dressing code, walking style, even the manner of smiling hoping that someone can finally notice me and tell me, You are beautiful just as you are. And that was never to be revised. One day I stood in front of the mirror and actually saw myself not what people saw, but me. The girl who had endured the years of mean-spirited jokes and disadvantaged comparisons. The one who would tear up and go to bed crying and come to school every day with a smile. For the first time, I whispered to myself, "You Are Enough". That is when it all changed.

The Birth of Self-Love

It did not take me a day to come to self-love. It began with little bits, learning how to smile without feeling guilty, to put on the things that feel good on me, to quit seeing my skin as the same as the other person. I started to treat my body as a friend, but not an enemy.

The next time individuals teased me because of being fat, I did not cry. I smiled. They would never run out of something to say, hence I knew this. But I didn't have to listen. Self-love does not mean disregard of your shortcomings; it means accepting them. It is the awareness that regardless of how society may change its definition of beauty through the decades, your value will remain the same. Our identity is not what we appear but what we laugh, how strong we are, how kind we are and what we tell.

Reflecting on Redefining Beauty.

I have always assumed that beauty was a perfect skin, a slim body and delicate features. However, the fact is that beauty lies in confidence, compassion and authenticity. Beauty is how your eyes shine when you discuss something you have a passion over. It is the friendliness in your smile, the power in your voice, and the boldness with which you have to remain yourself in the world that keeps telling you that you should be different. Once you begin to believe in your value you no longer strive to be perfect; you begin to be what you are, your reality.

To All Who Seem Like They Are Not Enough.

Have you ever thought you are too skinny, too dark, too fat, too thin, too short, too tall? Always keep in mind this: you are not too. You are exactly what you are supposed to be. Opinions will never be silent; only if society has a voice and might speak, it is up to you to listen. Their words do not make sense on the day you choose to love yourself. It is not selfless to love yourself. It's survival. It's healing. It's freedom. So wear your scars proudly. Speak kindly to yourself. Stop waiting for approval. Other people do not determine what you are about but you do.

Today, I Choose Me

Nowadays, when somebody teases me or makes comparisons, I smile. Since I can now understand that I do not require any validation of my beauty. I am not beautiful because of my appearance but because of my personality.

I have also come to understand that the best form of love is self-love, which makes you different in your walk, speech, and perception of things. Peace, respect and true happiness are drawn where you are in love with yourself. When you begin to measure up, you begin growing. Once you cease to seek approval, you begin living. In order, then, that everyone reading this begin to love himself. Not tomorrow. Not when you get thin, put on weight, or make your skin clear.

Be here now, now love yourself.

Because you are worthy. You are enough. You are beautiful-- You are the way you are.

Last Words: The Law of Inner Confidence.

Beauty is not reflected in a mirror, but it is experienced in the times of self-acceptance. It is in the way you stand up after you crumble, in the way that you decide to be nice even after being wronged. Self-love is never a place, but a path. Some days you will be confident, and other days, you will not be. And that's okay. It is important that you continue to make a choice in favor of yourself, over and over. As loving yourself completely means that you do not need to be loved by the world since your light is enough to light everything that surrounds you.